My sister and I are not speaking.  I am angry, sad and pissed.  I feel sad and I know she does as well.  When I fight with her though, its not her.  We have never really fought.  She has always insprired in me in so many ways.  I know that when we fight now, I am fighting her disease.  She has never been disloyal, heartless or unforgiving.  But now she is somthing other than what I used to know.  She is leaving me just like my mom.  Right now I feel like she doesnt care about anything other t...
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Welcome 2011.........
  When the holidays come around things become more intense, such as making sure we are all together and that the holidays will never be forgotten because the one thing in the back of most of our minds, "Is this the last Christmas."  I dont care who you are but when you have someone you love with Huntingtons you often find yourself wondering if its the last anything with this person.  I found my self really sad on Thanksgiving.  My sister, who has Huntingons along with my ...
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I would like to thank my cousin Mary for helping me with the pictures of this website.  Mary was diagnosed I believe last year.  She should be an insperation to everyone.  She fights on through walks, the beach, her puppies and everytime I see a post on her Facebook she is enjoying her family.  I love how great she seems to want to make of her time.  I live a bunch of states away from her but if I can see her fighting from here she must be.  Anyway Mary thank you for sending those photos and ...
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Had my mom over for a couple days being I have not had much time with work, school and kids.  We had a very nice time. 
I am glad that she is still able to enjoy a beer :-)  She asked if we could cook steaks because the home does not.  Well we found out real fast why that is.  She CHOKED!!  My husband had to give her the hymlech!!  I was a freaked out puppy!  I am
aware now that I am going to be a wreck when my mother passes.  I knew to some exctente that I would be but just her being that cl...
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I dont want anyone who reads my blog to misunderstand me.  I know that I may seem to be an unhappy and dark person, but that is just when I am talking about the way I feel about this diease.  I dont think there is anything happy to talk about when it comes to HD!  But I want to tell a little about who I really am.  I am a mother of three awsome kids and a wife to the most wonderful and caring husband in the world.  I love to laugh, sing and cry when its needed.  I love to watch my kids and se...

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I feel held back from time to time.  My husband talks about when we get old but the bottom line is I dont know if I am going to get old with him.  I want to get tested but I am just not ready.  I dont want to have to focus on KNOWING that I do have it when I have three young babies.  I really need to keep my head in the game and take care of them.  But I dont like those late night talks with my husband that make me wonder will I be there with you when you grow old and will I be there to watch...
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So I just recieved papers for my sister who is trying to get diability.  Since I am a close person to her I have to fill out forms as I did for my mom.  I keep wondering how many more of these I will have to fill out in my family.  It really hit hard today.  Cried for a long time.  Was very upset.  Feel alone.  I know that they are dealing with this and we are going through this but getting things like this make days a little harder then others.
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The happenings of my life right now are very sweet but also really bitter.  I am working, going to college and raising three kids.  I love my life I dont want anyone to get it wrong or anything.  I love my family and everyone around me.  But right now I am dealing with a storm within myself.  I dont know how to win the war.  And to top things off I am not speaking with my sister.  I know she is dealing with alot.  But I feel as though my feelings are forgotten.  I am in the stands watching th...

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Having a loved one with this disease makes you feel helpless and afraid but another feeling that comes to mind is selfish.  For me I feel selfish sometimes for feeling angry about it when I am not the one with it.  But I am also going through this as well as my loved ones.  I may not be going through the same things they are experiencing but I am going through alot of bad emotions.  Sometimes I feel forgotten because I am healthy and all the attention is on the ones that have it.  Or that it ...
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I hate the queston why me.  I know that many of us use it.  I am guilty of using it from time to time.  But I just dont understand why disease and sadness are part of our live.  I know many of you think its the devils work.  Which does not make since to me.  I just dont really buy some red man down stairs, with horns, reaking havoic!  I find it bizzare and sounds like someones bad dream and decided to tell someone who told someone.  But anyway I guess off subject.  I want the feeling of this ...
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I don't dwell on the fact that my family has this disease going on but I do mourn every day.  I suffer from seeing what it is doing.  I miss the way things used to be in my family.  We used to do everything together.  Things have changed because of the increase of depression and abilitie to do certian things.  I feel selfish for wanting things to be normal because I know that my sister and mom have no control over these things and if they did it wouldnt be happening.   I know that someday I w...
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My mother, where do I begin.  She was great, she did a really good job until she started to show changes in herself that we would later find was Huntingtons.   When I was 12 is the first time I remeber her turning into a person I did not know.  She began to drink and was not around as often as before. Between 12 to about 17 I was tossed around from my sisters to my dads.  She had a drinking promblem and kept going to jail.  She had changed.  A sighn of Huntingtons in a personality change and ...

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    I want to tell my story.  I want people to know the truth.  About the real sadness of my familys disease.  I wish I could say it was somthing cureable like cancer but its not and I dont know if it ever will be.  I know I am not alone but I feel alone in so many ways.  I am loseing this fight, the fight to be strong.  My mom and sister are slowing slipping away.  But not queitly or peacefully.  But more like in a savage way.  My mom and sister are fighting for whats theirs, but they are lo...

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